Chapter 8: My iPhone 6 is better than the iPhone 12 and there’s nothing Apple can do about it!

I love my iPhone 6. I’ve had it since I was in high-school. I’ve dropped it in very embarrassing places and styles. I’ve installed all sorts of apps and tweaks and even some emulators that never worked. I’ve made hundreds of backups and reboots and updates and even a few jailbreaks. 

My iPhone 6 has been with me in my best and worst moments. When a major earthquake shook Mexico City, it was my iPhone who told me my family was safe; getting a text from my parents while everybody else was receiving tweets of crumbling buildings allowed my heart a moment to breath. It was on my iPhone 6’s screen that I read my first “I love you” from my girlfriend. It was also on my iPhone 6 that I read the email from the Université de Montréal in which they kicked me out for not speaking French well enough. EVEN THOUGH I WAS STUDYING ENGLISH LITERATURE… Mais en fin, ça arrive!

With my iPhone 6 I discovered the city of Montreal; it told me in which Metro station to find the B.A.N.Q, it always lets me know if I should take an umbrella or not, it’s also kind enough to let me know if the bus is running late and also when should I get off the bus. My iPhone 6 is amazing, however, it is also slow nowadays. 

At first there were glitches. Sometimes it got so hot that I was afraid it might catch on fire. Although in Montreal it is useful because I use it to warm my hands whenever I forget my gloves! At least for a few seconds until it freezes and dies. 

My iPhone 6 has devoured two batteries and the last time I had to replace the battery by myself. I must admit, I was a little nervous of breaking something important or electrocuting myself. But it turned out fine. I felt smarter than usual manipulating components too small for me to fully understand what they do. But, now I know how my loyal iPhone 6 looks like on the inside, I know which parts get hot and why. In some aspects my iPhone 6 is more well built than I am. Everything is always in place, unlike myself, which I am usually all over the place. 

Recently, my iPhone 6 reached its end of life cycle; No more software updates! 

You know that COVID alert app that you can install on your smartphone to know if you’ve been exposed to the virus? Well, I can’t install it. So fuck me I guess. EDIT I was able to install the COVID Alert app (Canadian app) on my iPhone 6! They released an update that makes it compatible!!

Also, I recently found out that Apple was indeed slowing down older IOS devices with their updates. SO THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.

Currently, I am debating whether or not to buy a new phone. For someone other than me, the answer would be obvious, “Of course! Just buy the newest iPhone 12 and be done with it!” Surely the iPhone 12 is faster and more powerful than my good old iPhone 6. But, does it really matter? I mean, do I really need a new phone? My iPhone 6 does all the things I could possibly need a phone to do. Yeah it is a bit slow, but so what? With an iPhone 12 I will be able to open the YouTube app 2-3 seconds faster, maybe take a wide angled photograph, and record video in 4k resolution. But do I really NEED IT?

My iPhone 6 takes a little longer to open apps, nevertheless it opens them and they work fine. But “What about the lenses?” I hear you asking. Well, I bought special lenses for my iPhone 6, with a machined case that makes them sit perfectly still and allow me to take my iPhone 6 photography to the next level. So, the cameras are not really an issue. I mean, surely the iPhone 12 has more megapixels or something like that and even night-mode! But, again; so what? Whats the point of having all that firepower in a mobile camera if all those photos are going to end up compressed to the NTH power when they inevitably find their way to my instagram account? Come on, for that price I’m better off buying a camera than a new smartphone. I guess, I don’t have a camera either.

Okay. “The iPhone 12 has a new design and more battery life.” But does it though? Whenever I see the iPhone 12 it looks to me like an iPhone 4 with extra cameras. It looks old. As for the battery life; as I well know after replacing 2 batteries on the same iPhone 6, it’s subjective to say the least. I never play games on my phone. I rarely make phone calls. All I do is take pictures, send texts and some casual web browsing. Oh and I listen to music! A LOT. If I change from the iPhone 6 to the newest iPhone 12 my music experience will not change. I mean of course it will change. I’m going to have to use a dongle just to connect my headphones whenever they run out of battery! Headphone-Jack for the win.

So, I guess I don’t really need a new phone. I know my iPhone 6 has me covered; even though it is somewhat old, slow and it gets hotter than a frying pan on occasion. I think I can even connect an apple keyboard and use the iPhone 6 as a mini Mac. I should try that, just to see what happens! And to conclude this ode to my iPhone 6, all I will say is that yes, it is old; but no, it is not obsolete.