This short-story about vampires is a work of fiction, right? Well, have you ever felt an attraction to someone you know doesn’t feel the same? I know you have. Unrequited love makes vampires of us all.
This story was first published in October 2022. I wrote this after reading a copy of the “Penguin Book of Vampire Stories.” Also, this book was inspired by a trip of mine to Quebec City and Montmorency Falls on 2019. Everything else is either made up or straight up lies.
Axel
Part 1-Québec, summer of 2020.
It happened during the dreaded and heavy summer of Quebec. We took no trains nor planes; it would have been dangerous. The roads were long and they melted into the sunsets. But we were together; we were friends. However, I was alone. Alex and Emily were always together, even when they couldn’t see each other, I think specially then they were the closest to each other. We rented a car and we all took turns driving. Emily, Alex and I. But while Emily looked into Alex’s eyes I was left with nothing but the heavy air and the tireless green that surrounds the highway that leads to Chateau Frontenac. Without them noticing I would try to steal a glance from them while their eyes were locked onto each other. But neither Emily or Alex noticed me. They were not in love, they loved each other.
After several stops and bathroom breaks we arrived to the walled city of Quebec. Somehow it was still daytime but the sun was slowly but surely being devoured by the horizon. We were all tired but at least Emily and Alex had each other and together they walked hand in hand across the old city. We were together but I was alone. Every street and every sight I absorbed on my own. And after a few minutes of walking away from the car the clouds came down upon the city. Emily and Alex smiled as they kissed under the rain although it wasn’t just a kiss. It was theirs. For them it was beautiful but for me it was water. I smiled at them underneath the mask when they finally noticed me. What a cruel summer! We ran together under the storm, looking for a place to eat while the rain kept burning the streets. We decided for some burgers, unfortunately we weren’t the only ones. There was a line of ten people, all of them wet from head to toes and smiling like fools. Isn’t it lovely? One of them said. Just like the movies, and what is worst, Emily and Alex told me the same thing once we were seated inside. I didn’t care much for the food. But the company was nice. We were friends you see. We were together. But I went to the restrooms alone as they sucked their fingers. I should have stayed.
All I did was wash my hands while I looked at myself in the mirror. I was alone. And then it happened. The headache started and my brain pounded against my skull, my skin was cold and was dripping in sweat, the floor was shaky, I could barely breath, I was drowning in fear, everything was fading into a deafening whiteness while weakness shattered me. I could see myself in the mirror, falling into nothingness and a pool of blood. And then, before it was over I died. And I could see nothing but the crimson eyes of desire.
Then the water stopped running and I dried my hands with my wet shirt before adjusting my mask once again. When I returned from the restroom, Emily and Alex had already paid my share of the bill. They were waiting for me outside under the stars but I couldn’t believe that it was real. Were they really just waiting for me or were they waiting because of me? For the first time during our trip Emily’s eyes locked with mine, but just for a heartbeat. She smiled at me from under the mask, and after that, my heart was no longer mine. I understood why Alex never let go of Emily. How could you? Those were the eyes of peacefulness. They both smiled at me as we all laughed under the moonlight and walked until we somehow stopped in front of the church at Rue Notre Dame. We had coffee, there, under the stars. We were together because we were friends. There was only one table so I had to sit between them, interfering with their caressing and their kissing. And I loved it because Emily looked at me once again. Her hand was holding her cup while mine rested next to it; While I sat next to her. Hearing her words and intoxicating myself with poisonous desire. Every time she laughed she leaned towards me and her hair broke the air between us. Then Alex took Emily’s hand and they kissed each other over the table. And all I could do was smile and pretend that I wasn’t fading away into the mirror behind us. We were together. I was alone. We were supposed to stay there five days and four nights that summer. But the air during that summer was thick with love and desire. My neck hurt.
Part 2-Draining droplets of love to survive.
There was that funny smell that lingers after rainfall. The air was heavy and my mouth was dry. I walked behind Emily and Alex with cracked lips, pretending to smile in the darkness; pretending to be happy for them. I walked with them but alone. We were friends and they loved each other. The old port of Quebec was filled with dim lights and narrow streets. Alex and Emily stopped at every single window, poking into every single shop and danced under every single lamp post. Washing their hands with cheap hand sanitizer at every door. That was our first night there, the three of us just walking around Quebec City, inhabiting the lights and the streets. I wanted Emily to look at me, to fall in love with me and realize that she was wasting her time with Alex. I wanted to feel her. I wanted to kiss her lips, her cheeks, her neck. I deserved it! I had been there all along, always taking her to where she wanted, always listening, always waiting. I wanted her. I knew she wanted me too. Otherwise, why did she invite me on a trip to the most romantic castle in North America?
But, what I don’t understand is why in God’s name did Alex have to come along? Perhaps she was trying to end things and wanted me beside her as she did. I waited all night for my chance to hold her hand, when Alex wasn’t looking, and yet, Emily never looked at me. We had dinner, drank some wine and then after midnight we finally got to the hotel. We were together because we were friends. And yet, I slept alone. Separated from Emily, by Alex, and the walls. I couldn’t sleep; I listened to them all night through the communicating door. I heard their breathing in synch. The sounds they made when they kissed, when they moaned. I spent all night listening to Emily’s moaning as I tried to replace Alex with myself; but, I couldn’t. I wanted her. I wanted to open the door. Perhaps they wouldn’t notice. I listened to Emily, I imagined her laying beside me, caressing my face and my hands and my back. I imagined ourselves covered in sweat, smiling at each other. I imagined myself resting my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat trying to relax. I wanted her, to kiss her, to feel her. I imagined her face, her body, her hands, her neck. When the moaning stopped I finally fell asleep.
I looked towards the mirror to see myself in it, but it was dark and all I could see were the red lights that sneaked through the window. I only saw two glowing red lights in the darkness. I was covered in sweat and felt heavy. I was alone in the dark. The air was thick and across the mist of the night I flowed to their room passing under the communicating door. Emily and Alex were laying on the bed; Naked due to the summer night. In the dream I was floating over the bed, over Emily’s warm body covered in sweat. It was more real than any of my fantasies. Her fragrance was intoxicating. Her skin was soft, her breasts moved inspired by the heavy air of the night. She wanted me and I wanted her. We were together in the dark. The dream was real. The mist caressed her body, flowing slowly over her skin. I could hear her heartbeat and I let myself rest upon her. I kissed her lips, her cheeks, her neck.
Then the lights turned on and I woke up to a scream that came from Emily’s room, a strange howling noise that came from her throat.
Part 3-Lover(s) in a pool of blood.
I could smell it; Emily’s sweat mixing with blood. Salty red and dripping from the sides of the bed unto the old carpet. I could smell from behind the door. Emily’s… fear. I stood behind the door, listening to Emily and I waited until she said it. The name of her true love! My name! And instantly I entered her room because she wanted me to. She was on the floor, covered in blood, naked; just as I had left her in my dream. Her screaming only stopped after I pressed her against my chest. We were together. The three of us were friends, but Emily and I, were together at last. Holding each other. I could smell the blood on her hands, mixed with her sweat; however, I could also feel her warm breasts against my chest. Her heartbeat next to mine. I held her until the crying stopped. Until the only sound in the room were our two breaths colliding into one another. And we were alone; in a pool of blood, and Alex was finally gone. She couldn’t let go off me. And I would never let her go either. I was trembling just as much as her, my hands were slowly sliding across her back. Her head was pressed against my shoulder. She wouldn’t move as I breathed upon her neck, or else she would have to look at the pool of blood on the bed. I rested my head on hers and my neck hurt. I could smell it. The blood! She wouldn’t move. And how could she? We were together! Naked. Sweating. Afraid to give in; or, at least I was. I could smell the blood, the fear; on her skin, in the air, coursing through her veins. I couldn’t stop myself. I kissed her neck and suddenly we were in the dark.
Part 4-Beaux nights, faux dreams.
The next morning I woke up, caressed by the sunshine and the lingering fragrance of the night before. My neck hurt and I noticed two marks on my neck. Barely there at all. I explored my neck but the marks were cold to the touch, there was no pain at all, only a sense of numbness. I was a little hot so i took a bath and felt somewhat better. I was really hungry and fatigued. The dream was still vivid in my mind. Under the falling water of the shower I revisited my dream. Me floating over Emily. She holding on tight to me. A kiss in the dark. I remembered the taste of her neck at night. And then, I remember falling asleep inside the dream, next to her in a pool of blood. It all felt so real, I could even remember the taste of blood. It’s funny, but i don’t remember seeing her face in the dream, still, I know it was her, who else could it be? Finally, when the shower was over, I brushed my teeth in front of the foggy mirror and combed my hair. I didn’t shave, cause of the marks in my neck. I washed my mask in the sink, with water and soap and hang it to dry. My mouth was dry and I opened the window to drink some of the morning’s warm and heavy air. I prepared some of the complimentary coffee while I struggled to put on my clothes. With every movement my lungs ached, I felt as if any light source could trigger an overwhelming headache so I closed the curtains immediately and the aura was gone. I sipped the coffee through my cracked lips and felt the hot elixir cascade down my cold throat; but, there was an itching sensation and a funny scratchy sound in my breathing. I walked slowly towards my phone. Unlike the sun’s light, the artificial blue light didn’t bother me. I scrolled through the morning’s news on my timeline. But i was distracted by my wallpaper, a picture of Emily I found on her profile; she looked different now. “I have to get a new picture” I said to myself, as I prepared a second cup of coffee, but the wheezing in my throat didn’t go away. And then I heard Alex’s voice coming through the communicating door. They were waiting for me. It was time to get some breakfast. We walked around town for a while and then we had some breakfast. Together. It was a small terrace, with cute tables and hand sanitizer all over the place. The waiter came to our table and struggled to understand our voices through the mask. I was glad I was sitting down, the sun was heavy and the air was loaded with a peculiar scent that made me want to vomit. I couldn’t focus and i could barely breath so when the time came to order, I just managed to utter: “Same.”
Afterwards, we made our way to Montmorency falls. Emily, Alex and me. There were others too, walking on that bridge; but, we were all alone. Even though we were there together. Some were smiling for their pictures, others were wearing masks. The sun was still unbearable. But Emily was there with me; Alex was busy taking pictures of the view, so Emily was alone. I walked up to her with my phone ready to take a photo and told her to turn around. She did. She smiled just for me and I captured that moment for eternity. Afterwards she looked at me and held my arm and said she wanted to take a picture of me. As I stood in the bridge next to the colossal waterfall, Emily took my phone and asked me to take off my mask. I did. And under the sun she took my photograph. “Smile you beauty!”
Then Alex caught up with us and I felt the sun even more. Alex took Emily in their arms and took a selfie. The water filled the air and the aching in my lungs stopped for a moment. I stood there on the bridge while they took their photographs. I stood alone under the sun among the covered faces of the summer. Swaying with the wooden bridge. Then, Emily tapped my back and held me in her arms as she told me to look, straight at the camera in Alex’s hands, who was standing far away. Her smile obscured the sun and I felt full of life. Our eyes locked unto each other and before we looked towards the camera she said to me: “Smile gorgeous. And hold me; just like you did last night.”
Part 5-Immediately delightfully soothed.
The night came sooner than expected and with the sun away I could finally breath with ease. My neck didn’t hurt anymore and Emily was walking beside me. I could smell her sweet sweat and hear her sweet whispers. She whispered sweet nothings to me. Alex had to go to their room, Emily said Alex wasn’t feeling alright. She said something about headaches and coughing but I couldn’t care less. Emily was with me, I was with Emily, and the night was ours. She was mine. I was her’s.
We walked around with our masks hanging from our ears. Too alone to care for anybody else. Emily’s hand gripped mine and I couldn’t nor did I wanted to let go. The dark was lighter than usual and every smell and sound was louder and more vivid than ever before. We walked along the piers and left the Chateau Frontenac far behind. The wind and the sea stayed quiet while Emily and I walked alone in the darkness. Her sweet nothings intoxicated me until i couldn’t take it anymore and took her in my arms and kissed her. I kissed her lips. I kissed her cheeks. I kissed her neck. I kissed her neck slowly, tasting the sweet sweat of the summer’s night. I was shaking but she held me tight. Our passion dripped unto the wooden floor and painted it red.
“You are gorgeous. You are beautiful. And you deserve all of this.” She whispered through the air.
In the darkness she took me. My body failed me and the hot embrace of the summer’s night was gone. I slipped into nothing. Into a cold embrace and a pool of blood. I couldn’t breath and my mind was burning up in a strange fever. I saw a streak of lights, blue and red as Emily knelt besides me. And a shining drop of scarlet in her lips. Which she covered with her mask, before anybody could know it was there.
I couldn’t breath as they took me away from Emily. I could taste my own blood in my lips. I couldn’t smell Emily anymore inside the ambulance. There were whispers in French but there weren’t Emily’s.
For days and nights I clung unto life but the fever and thirst didn’t go away. Every night I dreamt about Emily, she would come into my room and wake me with her sweet kisses on my lips and spend the rest of the night embracing me and kissing my neck. For nights and days my lungs failed me and the doctors kept me alive with blood bags and machines. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t scream. All I could do was wait for Emily’s nightly visit and hope that she would take me away in one of those dreams. But every time she visited me in my dreams she would only whisper to me some sweet french nothings and kiss my lips, my cheeks and my neck. “You are beautiful aren’t you? Yes, you are. It’s okay. I’m here with you. You deserve all of this.”
Her breathy sounds at night kept me alive, while the doctors killed me softly with their incompetence by day. Emily was perfect and comforting and the dreams were my only solace. Everyday I would wake up with a fever, unable to breath. I was unlike the others in the hospital. Refusing to live but not alive enough to have strength to die.
“Cause you deserve little baby kisses. Lots and lots and lots of little kisses. Cause you are a sweetheart. Cause you deserve to feel loved.” Only Emily could keep me alive. I lived only for her.
“On your forehead.”
I dreamt only for her.
“On your chest. Only your nose… So cute.”
Kiss after kiss I felt myself swaying from dream to dream.
“You are so kissable. Every little corner, surface; keep your head still, your neck. Very good.”
Until one day the dream didn’t stop. I only knew it was night time because of Emily’s visit. Her kisses and tickles on my neck gave me strength to go on.
“That was a cute kiss right there. I’d like to switch it up. From fast little kisses – to long – lingering – kisses. Fast kisses – slow – kisses. Which one do you like best? I think I can guess. Your mind. Your body and soul. Let me take a load from your shoulders. Make you feel light and fuzzy and cozy. Which is what I hope that you are experiencing right now. Because I want you to fall asleep and feel safe and loved. It’s time for you to fall asleep. Yes it is. Close your eyes and let me kiss you right there. Sleep. Let me kiss you one last time – right here – on your beautiful neck. Sleep. Sweet dreams cutie. Sleep tight, goodnight, sweet dreams. You deserve all of this.”
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