Chapter 4: Aggressive Mexican Poets

I haven’t sold a single book yet. Not one. Rien de Rien. I am still figuring out how to attract readers and customers to the website. SEO is a difficult thing to understand. I mean, I want to write fiction!

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Chronicles of Lockdown. Chapter 4 "Aggresive Mexican Poets"

Mexican Poets don’t write code!

I got Xcode to run properly but my brother convinced me to not get obsessed by it. It’s not healthy. I write stories and essays. I’m also the editor and I’m responsible for the Krizaliz website as well. And nobody pays me. I think it’s a good idea to not add on top of that another heavy responsibility. Like developing an app!

I found a series of lectures from Stanford University and they are useful but I don’t know if Apple updated the language or something like that (if that’s even possible) but I got stuck while trying to replicate what the professor was doing. So, while I was trying to figure out what was wrong with my code, my brother woke up. Since he doesn’t have to go to school, nowadays, he wakes up a little later than usual. One of the silver linings of online classes. Perhaps the only one.

Anyways; my brother woke up and asked me what I was doing. I was trying to fix my code. But, he didn’t understand why. And we argued for half an hour; maybe more. He helped me realize that I should take baby steps. He is right. That fucker! I haven’t sold a single book yet.

Not one. Rien de Rien. I am still figuring out how to attract readers and customers to the website. SEO is a difficult thing to understand. I mean, I want to write fiction! But, I can’t write fiction if I have to spend days just crafting the perfect article or the ideal Instagram post description. Choose this word, choose that word, avoid using the most popular hashtags, be sure to post at the right time, etc. It is infuriating. Frustrating. Exasperating. To say the least.

"Snowdrops" by Louise Glück
"Snowdrops" by Louise Glück (part 2)
"Snowdrops" by Louis Glück

But what does this have to do with Mexican Poets?

Well, Mexican poets are not supposed to write instagram posts or tweets. Of course it is relatively easy, but for somebody who over thinks everything that say to the public; writing tweets and posts is inhumane. Mexican Poets were born to write for themselves. Meanwhile, the internet is for everybody. Anybody may read what you write. And while there are some Mexican poets out there who enjoy the attention, others don’t.

I do enjoy making the images and illustrations that I upload to instagram and the website. Drawing provides me with a peace of mind that is rare to come by. However, sometimes I feel that nobody will like it.

I fear that all that colour and thought and consideration that I put into the strokes of the pencil will just vanish or disappear; becoming digital ghosts of my dreams. But, then I remember that I have to do it. This is the 21st century after all. The written word is king and queen. We live and die by the tweet. The courts of the hyper-democracy of the online realm determine our fates without justice, under the pretence of objectivity; but still, being subjugated to the rule of the mob. The angry mob that embodies our worst dreams and our best nightmares.

“The written word is dead. Newspapers are dying! Kids these days.” So proclaimed the princess of Luxembourg Avenue.

That was a poem by the way. The paragraph; from “I do enjoy” all the way to “the princess of Luxembourg Avenue.” I hope you liked it; I wish to one day be recognized as one of the greatest Mexican poets.

Poetry is hard.

We should try to make it new again. Again! Shout out to Ezra Pound, one of the Fascist poets that I have a love-hate relationship with. I mean, I like his poetry it is just that I’m not a fan of him being a fascist. It is not cool. Did you know that he was from the States? I didn’t. And I studied his poems during university. I wasn’t always paying attention when it came to the modern poets.

It’s not that they are boring, but, their writings are dense. Even if they didn’t write much; Although, some of them did. While others didn’t.

Poetry is hard, mais c’est trop cool.

Personally, Emily Dickinson is my favourite. I really want to watch the Apple TV series. I like Hailee Steinfeld as well. She’s the same age as me. I didn’t know that until I googled her only to check if I was spelling her name correctly. It’s discouraging and inspiring that there are people my age who are famous and known around the world while I’m struggling to get my books read.

Perhaps I can do it. Perhaps not. In the end of the day anybody can write. Being famous is not hard. Being a writer is not hard either. But, being a famous writer is a whole other story.

Specially for Mexican poets.

Nobody cares for the Spanish language, not even the Spanish people. They kinda ruined the language. What Mexican poets? Well, it pains me to say that Mexicans don’t read that much or so it seems. Because, we mexicans suffer from a self-conceived-implanted-illness; called, Malinchismo. That is why we hate the Mexican poets.

Based on the figure of “La Malinche.” Who was herself demonized by historians. As a way to glorify the indigenous past and its subsequent and systematic destruction by the Spanish. And, subsequently by the Mexicans themselves. Something similar happens with one of our Mexican poets; Frida Kahlo.

We Mexicans have complicated identities. Mexican poets even more so. We are not Spanish. But, we are definitely not indigenous. Some say that we are a mix of the two races, as if that were possible. Remember that race doesn’t exist. It is not a thing, it is a concept that was created by the white European countries to justify the atrocities committed in the name of god, civilization and the crown. Race is not a thing. We are not dogs. We are humans and we are all the same.

We have the same capability of good and evil within us all. Evil is banal. And so is goodness. We are all highly developed monkeys floating on a rock, alone with ourselves. There aint no justice league, it’s just us.

There is no Mexican race or Spanish race. There is no race at all. And I hate to say it because at this point it has become a cliche, but, race is a social construct. Race was an invention of greedy men. Nothing more. Please bear in mind that I am saying this as a white mexican. A cis straight white male Mexican who has lived his entire life in privilege.

My great grand mother spoke Nahuatl but she never taught my grand mother how to speak it. Mexico made sure of that. Mexico is the only country I know off that is proud of its indigenous past; but, is ashamed of its indigenous peoples. Perhaps other countries in latin america are the same, perhaps not. What is true is that the Spanish left. However, the colony remained. I guess that’s why it is so easy to hate on Spain and blame all our problems on events that happened a lifetime ago.

Mexican Poets do it all the time. I guess that is why we love tearing down statues of “Cristobal Colon.” It is easy to not take responsibility.

Yes, the European colonies were a mistake. All colonies.

The American Continent was a shitshow. I can’t speak for the other countries but Spain has lot to atone for. And, please if you see a Spanish tourist don’t treat him like shit. Be sure to sell them overpriced artisanal objects. European white folk go crazy for that shit. As do Mexican poets. After all, if you believe that the Spanish stole You, you would only be stealing the gold back.

I mean yeah, it is hypocritical that Spain boasts about being a developed country and what not, thanks to all the riches they made from their colonies. And it is sad and pathetic to see that Spain, the country that proclaims to have “civilized” the Americas, has people that believe that the earth is flat. ¿I mean, “pero que coño tieneis en la cabeza”, es neta que estos pendejos conquistaron America?

This is hilarious!

Sorry, I’m sorry. I can’t always control my thoughts. They come and they go as they please. After all I’m only human. Made out of DNA and years and centuries and millennia of evolution. After all I am falible, corruptible and; well, many things actually. But let’s save that for later. I am getting tired and I have a deadline. I’m one of the Mexican poets.

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