Chapter 3: Nothing to write about.

I’m sorry but I have nothing to write about.

I hate SEO

Me

I’ve been trying to focus on selling my stories online or as the cool kids say: selling ebooks. Here are some of them, If you’d like to support me I would greatly appreciate it. But, if not just keep reading. Keep on reading and never look back!

Living with Writer’s Block.

I’ve been planning. Thinking out loud to myself. Listening to my thoughts echo in my room. In my house. In me. I’m sorry but I have nothing to write about. And I am an author or writer. And I have Writer’s block. It is horrible. Without a doubt it is perhaps the worst feeling a writer can have.

Writer’s block is no joke; however, it is not contagious. Apparently, if one author gets it, it is unlikely for another to suffer from it. It is like a burden that randomly affects writers and authors of all ages. Of all genres. It affects everyone and there is nothing to be ashamed of. At least, until you realize that to-day is Friday and your deadline is due in exactly 2 hours. F@uck! What do I write about? Thanks writer’s block.

What hip and trendy subject do I write about that will attract readers, whom are also customers and are willing to pay a small amount of their hard-earned money just to read a small piece of literary fiction? Which words have a better chance of making this entry have a better ranking than the other thousands of blogs and reviews and all that. I hate SEO. Imagine trying to come up with the perfect words when you have writer’s block!

That is, Search Engine Optimization, for those who are not in the loop. But, for that one other fellow editor reading this, I want to tell you that I get you. And it is okay to cry a little. I do it all the time!

I hate Xcode; but, don’t worry. Xcode hates me too!

I have nothing to write about; So, I’ve been trying to learn how to write code. So, that I can sell my stories. So, that people will read them. So, that they’ll come alive! Because what is the point of writing if no one reads. Sorry. I already wrote that a week ago. No. Today I have nothing to write about. I’m just too tired of trying to figure out how to install Xcode properly. It’s supposed to be simple, Apple made sure of that. But, being 2020 the year that it is, installing an app on a computer is anything but simple. It is a fucking nightmare.

And all the Reddits and the developer forums are of no use. I don’t understand what they are saying! They talk about RAM and memory and performance, but all I know is Chaucer and Spencer and Milton. I know about writing poetry and essays and novels but when it comes to the poetry of the twenty first century I am an illiterate. I am lost in the digital sea of contemporary life. Also, those who write up answers in the forums aren’t always very nice. They always blame you for not knowing what you don’t know. Like academics! Or, Creative Writing majors! Oh, the Irony. 

I apologize. It’s 23:38 pm on a Wednesday. I have a headache and I’m still not famous. Nobody reads what I write. Nobody cares and it makes me wonder if I should still care. But, then I remember that it is 23:41 pm and I’m still alive! You and me. But, only for today. For a moment; having writer’s block is not so bad.

The leaves have been falling for a few days. You can feel the winter announcing its arrival. You should see Montreal during the fall. It’s amazing. There is color everywhere and leaves all over the place. 

Sorry, I have no idea what I’m doing. I have Writer’s Block and I have nothing to write about.

Last week I took a test. Don’t worry, it wasn’t for COVID. It was a French test, and apparently, I understand the language pretty well. I’m not flexing or anything. I understand French but I don’t speak it. There’s a difference. I speak in Spanish. I can speak in English. I understand French and I know how to say things. But, I don’t speak French. At least not yet.

I need more practice, I need to speak to more people. The problem is that in Montreal whenever you want to practice your French, people notice that you are not a francophone and they switch immediately to English. Why! Do they want me to speak French or not? And if they speak English then why should I learn French? Is confusing. Don’t let me speak in English. Help me to speak French. I want to speak French! There’s more to learning French than just practicing the grammatical rules and learning the vocabulary. You need the people…

“I’m sorry but this is boring. It’s boring me. It’s boring for you. It’s boring for everybody.”

Not John Milton.

I’m sorry. I have nothing to write about to-day. I love to write to-day instead of today. It makes me feel fancy. It turns out that writing doesn’t matter. Miss me with that prescriptivist bullshit!

You can support the “Author” by buying one of our short stories



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